Getting Started: The First 3 Steps to Telling Your Life Story
Many people don’t understand that buried beneath the rubble of their lives, there is a story there. The hero being you. And that each life story has chapters. There is a plot. There are characters, and there is a heroic tale of survival with a champion who’s gotten little recognition, if any, for what they’ve had to go through. The human experience entails totally amazing feats of courage, tenacity, and resilience. If you’re reading this, you have gotten through a lot of shit by now. And when you’re able to look back, you can see things that you couldn’t see when you were right in it, like what you learned, what got you through it, and how capable you really are. There have been different incarnations of yourself over time, which helps you understand how far you’ve come and how you’ve changed along the way.
When you tell your story, you’re honoring your heritage and giving yourself permission to heal and to think about your story in new ways. And telling your story doesn’t have to be a daunting or overwhelming thought. It can be healing and cathartic. It is possible and especially nowadays with so many more options than in the past. It is not as hard as people might think. You just have to take things one step at a time.
Here are three steps that can help you get started:
Step 1
The first step is to create a vision of what you want to create. What is your goal? What story or stories from your life would you want to tell? Do you want to write a book or a screenplay? Do you want to create a photo journal or a scrapbook? Do you want to create a series of paintings or a book of poetry? Maybe you’d like to create an audio or video recording to share with others when you are ready. Who would be your audience or who would you want to share it with?
You may not want to preserve your story at all; Maybe you just need to talk about it confidentially with a trusted therapist and find ways to cope with its impact on your life today.
Step 2
The second step is to make a plan. Any project that you take on will require a certain amount of time and energy, but it might not be as consuming as you might imagine. Telling your story is a project that takes coming up with an organized plan and having a strategy. Realistically, this would include a certain small amount of time each day or week. Once you have a plan, it takes a lot of the overwhelm out of it. If you have too much on your plate, maybe it’s not the right time for focusing on you, but maybe you’re one of those people who will never put yourself first. Telling the stories of your past can seem like an extra, too indulgent to just focus on yourself. You tell yourself you don’t have time or you’re too tired or exhausted. Maybe self-care has never been a priority for you and your focus has been on taking care of others. For a good plan, you’ll need to make a schedule of what day you can work on it and what time frame you have available. That could be fifteen minutes or thirty minutes, or it could be two hours. It’s whatever you can realistically manage. Then make sure you have a private quiet place to work and a computer with a good connection.
Step 3
The third step is to build your team. What kind of resources do you have? Do you want to hire someone to do it for you? Or do you plan to do it yourself? Are there members of your family who could help provide helpful information to fill in the blanks, or maybe they have photos or other documents that you might want to see. Your project may or may not include researching to gather information that could be used to jog your memory or provide context for your story. Do you have a good friend or someone you trust who is interested in helping and can listen and help you with the project along the way if needed? There’s lots of resources out there that make it easier such as apps and ways to digitally record and transcribe your story if you don’t want to write it from scratch.
If you have any questions about these initial steps or want to discuss strategy or concerns, set up an appointment with a narrative therapist who employs storycatching techniques. It can be very helpful to be in therapy during the time you’re working on this project. That way there will be somebody there to provide you with support and to work with you around the more difficult aspects of your story. You will be provided with a safe, confidential place to talk with someone who is trained to deal with mental health issues if they arise during the process. A narrative therapist can help you understand some of the complexities involved and its impact on you.
I am a narrative therapist who believes in the healing power of story in our lives. Would you like to set up a free consult to discuss your story or how it’s impacting your life?